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Bridal party proposal: when should you ask someone to be a bridesmaid or a groomsman?

Updated: Feb 22

Bridal party proposal... let's talk about it! Selecting the members of your bridal party is an important decision that you should not rush into. You should take time to carefully consider your decision and make sure it makes sense for you. Here are a few suggestions to guide you on when you should ask someone to be a bridesmaid or a groomsman!


groom walking with 10 groomsmen
Groomsmen proposal

Carmen Santorelli Photography

The bridesmaid and groomsmen proposal is generally done 1 year to 7 months out and you must start asking yourself some important questions before even thinking about the proposal.

  • WHO TO ASK: Your closest friends and family members are often the first candidates that come to mind. These are the individuals who have shared in your joys and supported you through challenges. They've been there for you, and you want them to be an integral part of this significant moment in your life. Make a list and ask yourself why each one of them is important and which role they played in your life. Think about the following questions as well:

    • how many attendants do you want?

    • how many attendants is your partner planning on having? (do you care about the symmetry of bridal party photos?)

    • will they all get along and be a support system for your wedding day and the whole planning?

    • will they all respect your decisions and understand that "it is your special day"?

  • WHEN TO ASK: Once you have selected a wedding date, it is a good idea to start thinking about who you'd like to stand by your side, however, I recommend holding off from actually asking until you do have a venue and you have taken enough time to consider. The more information you can give them, the better. Often people need to travel and they have families or young kids, so letting them know the exact date and the location is important. Select a date, go through the venue selection process, then take another month to think and regroup with your partner.

bridesmaids cheering on wedding day
Bridesmaids proposal

Lukas Corynta Photography

  • COMMUNICATE: Once you've decided on your bridal party, it's important to have an open conversation with each potential attendant. This discussion allows you to share your expectations, both in terms of roles and responsibilities, and gives them the opportunity to express any concerns or ask questions. Clear communication sets a positive tone for the entire wedding planning process! Also, keep in mind every friend you consider may have their own unique circumstances. Some may live far away, have demanding work schedules, or have other commitments that could impact their ability to fulfill their role. It's important to be understanding and respectful of their situation. Give them the space to consider the commitment and be understanding if they need to decline.

Ultimately, trust your instincts and choose the people who hold the most significant place in your heart. These are the individuals who will stand beside you, providing support and love.

bride with bridesmaids and moms
Bridesmaids proposal

Chasing Light Photography


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Bridesmaids proposal

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